Advice for Graduating Seniors and Their Parents

One of the many casualties of the COVID-19 pandemic has been (or will be) the loss of certain rites of passage for the high school class of 2020. In no specific order, most have lost out on competing in their final year of spring sports, their proms, their graduation ceremony, Senior skip and/or prank day, grad-night outings or parties and in some cases, where students do not have access to Wi-fi or computers in their homes, the end of their school year.

While I cannot imagine anyone wishing these circumstances to befall any child, the fact is that we have no control over the situation. I learned a long time ago that the best way to deal with things is to let go of the things that are beyond my control and put all of my energy into to the things I do have control over. In the words of legendary basketball coach, and very wise human being, John Wooden: “Don’t let what you can’t do, get in the way of what you can do.”

If parents are talking to each other about how awful things are, it does not help anyone and actually hurts their children. When parents express how badly they feel that their child is going to “miss out” on their graduation ceremony or their prom, it actually makes their kids more anxious than they probably already are and makes them feel worse not better.

These things are not going to happen, so I find it is best to accept that fact as soon as possible and begin looking for opportunities in the situation. No circumstance, regardless of how bad or tragic it seems at the time, is without opportunities within it.

High school seniors, in general, are known to feel anxious about all of the big changes that are coming their way, without the added stress of a pandemic and all of the uncertainty it brings. What they need right now is reassurance from their parents that things will work out in time.

When they see that their parents are upset or scared it makes them feel more scared. There’s additional stress in many households for the parents, many of whom are suddenly unemployed, but as the adults in the household it is important to shield your children from those additional concerns right now. If they see you are fearing your future that will likely make them more anxious and fearful about theirs.

A majority of the kids I have talked to are more upset about not being able to hang out with their friends, than they are about missing their senior rites of passage. Some say their parents are more bummed about all they are losing (not being able to post pics on social media from the events they are missing) than they are that their kid is missing the events.

Many of life’s greatest triumphs are sprung during challenging times. Companies like Apple, Microsoft and Airbnb were all born in horrible economic downturns. Nelson Mandela unjustly spent 27-years in prison and could have easily spent those years feeling sorry for himself. Instead he used that time to grow himself into one of the most revered leaders of all time and succeeded in eliminating apartheid in his country.

If you live in the present and take advantage of what each day has to offer you may be surprised to find yourself better off than you were before the pandemic happened.

Adversity is a fact of life for almost everyone. Some people let adversity destroy them, and others look at it as a gift and experience growth. The only difference is in which way you CHOOSE to look at it.

As Wayne Dyer says, “It makes no sense to worry about things you have no control over because there’s nothing you can do about them, and why worry about things you do control? The activity of worrying keeps you immobilized.”

10 Tips to Improve Your Child’s Concentration and Focus

Children in every family are very precious. Education is an integral part of their growing process. It is often proved that children with utmost focus and concentration succeed well at their academic front at the same time improving their intellects at the good extent too. At this outset, we bring you 10 valuable tips to improve your child’s concentration and focus.

1. Diet: When we talk about child’s growth, it is directly connected with their diet. Here, it is imperative to know that nutrition is the primary key in improving the child’s concentration levels. Children eat better can focus well on their daily activities. Your child’s cognitive functions are ruled through micronutrients such as copper, zinc, iron, selenium and Vitamins A, C, D, and E. Make it sure that your child’s diet is rich with certain nutrients those can impart good concentration and focus. Children with the good levels of concentration and focus will excel well in their every activity that included studies too.

2. Routine: The Growing process of the children is very sensitive. Here, it is certainly parents’ responsibility to make their growing not alone healthy, but also of good in a way, they will be exposed to certain good patterns. Here, setting a routine is the greatest help. Parents should ensure setting the best routine into their daily activity, which can help them well to focus in the right manner. A best-set routine can help a lot for the child’s overall development yet being the best source to enhance their performance besides too. Some of such routines are like setting particular timings for doing homework, playing, eating, sleeping and some more. This kind of well-set routine will make them always well prepared in a way to face the targets with determined focus.

3. Non-Academic Approach: Academic and non-academic approaches should be made as a part of daily routine for children. Add some puzzles, quizzes and some more as the non-academic approach. These activities will teach well to the child more about focus automatically. Importantly, these activities will improve exceptional problem-solving skills to the child. Academic tasks often make the child exhaustive. When you add exposure to the motioned non-academic practices, they will help the child improve well on concentration, which down the line can result in a great help at the academic front.

4. Small Tasks: Big tasks are not a great interest for children. They tend to be bored while exposed to big tasks. This kind of situation will affect drastically on the child’s focus levels. It is always wise to break any of the big tasks into multiple small tasks with a deadline. This will motivate them to solve those tasks with determined focus and concentration. This is the best way to improve your child’s concentration and focus too.

5. Mitigate Distractions: It is very common in children to get distracted very quickly. If you want your child to improve focus and concentration then it is imperative to reduce or eradicate their distractions with the best possible ways. The ambience is another important cause here to distract children. Avoid loud sounds, TV, music and such from the ambience while your child is focusing on something. Always observe what all causing distraction is and eliminate them as much as possible from the ambience.

6. Rest: Your child must have ample rest every day. Make it sure that your child is having ample night sleep and add some additional rest in the day time too. This could lead to convenient activity for child apart from the availing ample rest, which can help them to focus and concentrate well on their work.

7. Time Gaps: It is imperative to allow some time gap between tasks for the children. For example, doing homework continuously can make them lose their focus and concentration. Let them complete their homework volume in bits and pieces ensuring time gap between one after one. This kind of working ensure focus yet improving it in the right way too.

8. Praising: You must appreciate your child in every activity. Children take this kind of praising as the greatest motivation. A well-motivated child often tends to focus and concentrate on the tasks given to gain the praising again. You should keep up this well in your child with appropriate praising as inappropriate appreciation can lead into the wrong direction too. Praising is the best way to improve the child’s focus and concentration, but do it in a balanced way without fail.

9. Activity Changes: It is very common to change activities in the child’s daily routine. But caution is very much essential here. Children are just growing and they find it difficult to accept changes. Sometimes, these changes can affect drastically on the child’s focus and concentration. It is imperative to add activity changes by duly informing in advance. You should make them well prepared for the change in a way their focus and concentration will not be affected.

10. Stories: Storytelling or reading out stories to the children showing very good positive impact since ages. Make good use of this reading out stories in a way child’s focus and concentration can be improved. Listening and comprehension skills will improve to a good extent while reading out stories. This is mainly due to the kind of focus and concentration paid by the child to the activity. So, reading out stories is a proven practice to improve your child’s concentration and focus.

Are You Expecting Too Much From Your Toddler?

It is natural to expect a few things from your kid, but most parents don’t realize that when their expectations are crossing the limit. Well! There is a thin line between expectations and over expectations, maybe being a new parent you don’t realize it, but you have to understand that a kid cannot be perfect all the time.

According to experts, these days toddlers are bombarded with unrealistic expectations, which leads them stress.
Sadly, parents often don’t realize that they’re expecting more than a kid’s capacity. Here we have got you some baseless and unrealistic expectations that parent always does from their kids.

1. Always Be In A Good Mood
We want our toddlers not to cry and be in a good mood all the time. Do you think it is possible? Of course not! When you as an adult is not able to be in a good mood throughout the day, then how can you expect it from a little toddler? Yes, it is irritating when kids become moody and cranky, but you have to understand that they do have their everyday issues and you being a parent is supposed to help them out instead of imposing your expectations on them.

2. Never Mess Up
Parents expect their toddler always to keep their toys at their place and to never mess up with other things. But hey! It’s just a little toddler, who doesn’t understand how things are supposed to be. Sometimes toddlers end up with a mess. For example, toddlers love to draw their imaginations on every piece of paper that they see. So in such a situation, you’re supposed to keep your relevant documents at a safe place instead of expecting the toddler not to harm them.

3. Ignore Our Bad Habits
Always remember that toddlers learn things from their parents and people around. Expecting your toddler to ignore your habits is the unrealistic expectation ever. If you abuse others in front of your toddler, how can you expect your kid not to learn those abusive words? It is better not to perform your bad habits in front of the toddler.

4. He Should Be A Fast Learner
If you’re expecting your toddler to learn everything with a blink of an eye, let me tell you, you’re just expecting too much. Few toddlers can grasp well and few moves as per their pace, but that doesn’t make them weak in learning the new things and concepts. Never discourage or scold your baby to learn quickly. Don’t worry, they’ll learn.

5. Always Forgive
You can’t always treat your child the way you want and then expect them to be reasonable with you in return. Just like an average human, even a toddler can’t forgive his parents for everything. If you’re behaving ill with your kid, be ready to face the consequences instead of expecting him to act normal.
So if you’re also expecting any of the things as mentioned above or anything similar from your toddler, stop right away and think again because these unrealistic expectations will create unnecessary distance between you and your toddler.
Conclusion

Being a parent is stressful enough, don’t lose your head over a toddler who is just learning. Give them some time and see how your beautiful creation will turn into a good human being.

The Anxiety and Depression Epidemic and the Spending Disconnect

We keep pouring money into our personal electronic devices like there’s no tomorrow, always wanting more, always wanting the very latest-and schools are no different. In fact, $3.8 billion is spent on classroom technology every year-but 27% of it doesn’t meet any learning goals!

Translation: $1 billion of your ed tech tax dollars are wasted annually.

At the same time, in the name of funding issues, only three states provide kids with at least one school counselor-formerly known as guidance counselors-for every 250 students, as recommended. Equally troubling, just three others have at least one school psychologist for every 750 students, so says federal data.

Put them together and what have you got? Rising rates of anxiety and depression in our young people with not much of a safety net at the ready for them.

Moreover…

  • In a 2019 Pew Research Poll, 70% of surveyed teens agreed that stress, anxiety, and depression are a major problem among their peers.
  • A 2017 American Psychological Association’s Stress in America survey found that 60% of parents worry about social media’s influence on their child’s physical and mental health.
  • A recent NBC News/Survey Monkey poll found that almost 33% of 1,300 parents of 5- to 17-year-olds blamed social media for their children’s mental and emotional health problems.
  • From 2009 to 2017, the CDC says that depression rates for those 14 to 17 rose by more than 60%.
  • According to the National Institute of Mental Health, an estimated 32% of adolescents suffer from an anxiety disorder, with 12% of our 12- to 17-year-olds reporting one major depressive episode in the last year.
  • Between 2005 and 2017, the proportion of teens, 12 to 17, reporting major depressive symptoms rose from 8.7% to 13.2%, according to data from the National Survey of Drug Use and Health.

About such facts and arguing that teens turn to their smartphones as their “preferred social outlet,” San Diego State University psychologist Jean Twenge says, “It suggests that something is seriously wrong in the lives of young people and that whatever went wrong seemed to happen around 2012 or 2013.”And that’s about the time when, as Twenge notes, smartphones became commonplace and “social media moved from being optional to mandatory among youngsters… What you get is a fundamental shift in how teens spend their leisure time. They are spending less time sleeping, less time with their friends face-to-face… It is not something that happened to their parents… ”

University of Southern California Vice Provost for Campus Wellness & Crisis Intervention Varun San adds this: “At the root of it is a sense of disconnection. These are students who are so connected online. These are students that may have 1,000 friends online but struggle to make friends in real life.”

Also of note:

  1. Of the 1,800 19- to 21-year-olds questioned, the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine found that the top 25% of social media users are at greater risk of experiencing depression than the bottom 25%.
  2. The University College London found that teens who use social media more than 5 hours a day showed a 50% increase in depressive symptoms among girls and a 35% jump among boys compared to the 1- to 3-hour users.
  3. According to a UK Millennium Cohort study, 43% of girls said they spend 3 hours or more on social media, as did 21.9% of boys-and 26% of those girls and 21% of those boys had higher depressive scores than those spending less than 3 hours.

And now this just in: An analysis by the National Institutes of Health, the University of Albany, and NYU’s Langone Medical Center found that babies as young as 12 months experience nearly one hour of screen time every day, and 3-year-olds put in more than 150 minutes.In other words, take heed and set limits, following the American Academy of Pediatrics guidelines that recommend NO screens for babies/toddlers under 18 months, with a gradual add-on between 18 to 24 months, and no more than one hour per day for the 2 to 5 set.

And then tell your kids…

  1. No more than 2 hours a day on any device-other than computer-related homework.
  2. No devices at the dinner table or during quiet homework/study time except for online assignments
  3. No device use one hour before bedtime-too stimulating, plus the blue light wreaks havoc on sleep.
  4. No going to bed with their smartphone in hand. If used as a wake-up alarm, buy an alarm clock instead.

Oh, yes, and follow your own good advice for your own good…

Carol is a learning specialist who worked with middle school children and their parents at the Methacton School District in Pennsylvania for more than 25 years and now supervises student teachers at Ursinus College. Along with the booklet, 149 Parenting School-Wise Tips: Intermediate Grades & Up, and numerous articles in such publications as Teaching Pre-K-8 and Curious Parents, she has authored three successful learning guidebooks: Getting School-Wise: A Student Guidebook, Other-Wise and School-Wise: A Parent Guidebook, and ESL Activities for Every Month of the School Year. For more information and resources, go to http://www.schoolwisebooks.com and keep up with all her education-related blogs, too.

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